


Power Play

by BrutalWarElf



Series: I belong in a garbage can [3]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Bottom!Toki, Dom/sub, First Time, Hate Sex, Height Differences, Jealousy, M/M, Public Sex, Rimming, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Spanking, barely legal Toki, dom!toki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 13:56:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1187793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrutalWarElf/pseuds/BrutalWarElf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up where Hard Lines, Hollow Cheeks leaves off. The tug of war that is Skwisgaar and Toki's relationship told through a series of sexual encounters and their fallout over the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as 'four times Skwisgaar wouldn't let Toki top and one time the thought never even occurred to him', but the story gained a little depth and drama along the way. Enjoy!

Skwisgaar couldn’t help but smile when he held the door open for Toki as they exited the studio complex. The kid was so elated about being part of the first Dethklok album that he was practically skipping outside. After overseeing the process of Pickles and Murderface laying down their tracks for the past week it had finally been time to record the first guitar parts today, and they aced it.

The ironic thing was that where Skwisgaar had been anxious enough to puke his guts out – as always when the stakes were high – Toki had just been excited to be involved the process. He had looked around the studio reverently and asked a lot of questions, but he’d been completely unintimidated by the task at hand. Skwisgaar would never admit that Toki’s carefree attitude had helped him calm down or even enjoy the recording despite his all-consuming perfectionism, but it had. 

Toki beamed up at him all the way home, his wide eyes and smile making Skwisgaar reconsider his plans to get wasted and have a random hook-up to unwind and work today’s stress out of his system. Toki’s blow-jobs were still below par, but his infectious sensuality more than made up for his lack of skill.

Their apartment was dim and stuffy, but the beer Toki brought from the kitchen was cool, and they sat in cautiously hopeful silence for a while. This record was going to be great, and who knew what could happen when they released it?

‘Ahlright, I’m goin’ on a bender, who else is cahmin’?’ Pickles asked when dusk set in.

Nathan, Murderface and Toki jumped up, but Skwisgaar held Toki back.

‘We ams stayinks here, Tokis. We gots more recordinkgs in de morningks. You can’ts fucks dat up.’

Toki sat down with a sigh, but when Skwisgaar gave him a wink as the others filed out of the house his face lit up again.

‘Let’s goes to my rooms.’ He extended his hand to pull Toki to his feet. ‘Haves you been pracktiskings whats I suggeksteds?’

It surprised Skwisgaar a little when Toki turned a violent shade of red and nodded. He hadn’t actually thought Toki would go through with it however much he had said he wanted to.

He locked the door from the inside while he backed Toki up against the wall. Toki’s ears were burning underneath that ratty blue hat of his. Why anyone would want to wear a hat in these climes was a mystery to Skwisgaar, so he plucked it off gently and bent down to brush his lips against Toki’s.

When Skwisgaar first began having sex with Toki he had been shy about taking any sort of initiative, but now he reached up behind Skwisgaar’s head and pulled him down for a thorough kiss, bony fingers threading through his hair tightly.

Toki kissed the way he did everything from playing guitar to sucking dick; sloppy but with enthusiasm. It was enough to make Skwisgaar forego his calculating approach to what he had in mind for tonight, his hands wandering up Toki’s ribs to his pecs, feeling out the finely structured muscles that had become more defined with regular meals.

Toki’s hands felt a little clammy when he hastily rucked up Skwisgaar’s shirt.

‘What ams de hurries?’ He mumbled against Toki’s neck.

‘Just want to sees you naked.’ Toki panted in his ear.

‘You gots to pace yourselves, Toki. We has a long nights ahead.’

Despite the admonition, Toki proceeded to strip him of his clothes without delay. He paused only to paw and mouth at the skin he bared with the removal of each garment, sending shivers of anticipation up Skwisgaar’s spine.

When Skwisgaar stood naked in a heap of clothes Toki took a step back to keep his eyes glued to his body while he took off his own shoes. Skwisgaar crowded back into Toki’s space, erection nudging gently against the fabric of his t-shirt. He tilted Toki’s head back and kissed him deeply, palming his cock through his pants in time with the slide of their tongues. Toki moaned impatiently and shimmied out of his pants without breaking contact, and Skwisgaar huffed in amusement.

_I shouldn’t be doing this_ , he thought for the hundredth time as he looked into Toki’s young and vulnerable face, but the sight of his naked body on his sheets crowded out all thoughts of right or wrong. They never bothered to undress completely for the quick hand- and blowjobs they occasionally exchanged, but now they paused for a moment, drinking in the sight of each other.

Toki still felt small beneath him, but at least bit more solid than the last time they made out, even without clothes. Theoretically, he could stop worrying about breaking him in two, although admittedly that was part of the appeal of getting it on with Toki.

The realisation that he was about to thoroughly debauch his protégé should have put him off, but with Toki’s hands on his ass urging him to grind their hips together it only made him more aroused.

Drawing away from Toki’s hungry mouth he asked ‘Does you thinks you ams readies?’ in a low whisper.

Toki nodded, biting his lip. Casually trailing a hand along the inside of his thigh Skwisgaar reached into his nightstand. He handed Toki a bottle of lube and a towel.

‘Shows me hows you does it.’

Cheeks burning under Skwisgaar’s scrutiny, Toki knelt in the middle of the bed and worked his fingers inside himself one by one. By the time he tried to add a third finger, his brow was knitted in concentration and his mouth slack. Skwisgaar became aware he’d been furiously stroking himself when he felt the first onset of an impending orgasm.

Releasing his cock with difficulty, he reached for Toki to distract himself. ‘Cans I – ?’

Toki shifted to make room for him and wiped his hand on the towel. Skwisgaar’s gently probing fingers located Toki’s flushed hole, and they both held their breath as he slipped his index finger inside. Toki didn’t clench – he really had been practising – but he still felt immensely tight.

Skwisgaar’s fingers were bigger than Toki’s; even though he took his time adding the second, Toki narrowed his eyes a little.

‘Ams you okay?’

‘Ja.’ He gasped.

‘You amen’ts just doingks dis for me, rights?’

‘No, I wants it.’ He pushed back onto Skwisgaar’s fingers as if to prove his point.

Pulling him close with his free hand, he bent down to nuzzle Toki’s neck and kiss his sharp collarbone.

‘How does you wants me?’ He murmured against Toki’s skin.

Toki considered for a moment. ‘You lies on your back and I’ll sits over you.’

Toki pushed him into the pillows and crawled up his body, straddling him with his narrow hips. He gripped them tight, skirting his thumb along a hipbone. Toki reached between them for Skwisgaar’s cock, spreading lube and angling it up into the cleft of his ass.

Skwisgaar threw back his head and moaned at the sensation of Toki’s tight grip and his lubed up dick sliding against Toki’s crack. Nothing more happened, however, despite Toki’s best efforts.

He let out a frustrated groan. ‘I can’ts get it to work, Skwis. What ams I doins wrongs?’

‘Maybe you needs to relax a bit mores. Here, I helps you.’

Toki visibly made an effort not to come on the spot as Skwisgaar wrapped his hand around his cock. Skwisgaar watched his muscles cording and his face scrunching up in concentration, but it was to no avail. Within half a minute hot spurts of Toki’s come splattered against his chest while he writhed and mewled helplessly. It was a weird combination between adorable and insanely hot, he thought as his own cock twitched in time with every pulse of Toki’s.

‘Let’s tries agains, little Toki.’

He sat up to wipe some stray semen off the underside of his chin and tumbled Toki face down onto the mattress.

‘Tells me if dis horts.’

Aligning his rock-hard cock with Toki’s hole, he waited until Toki nodded dazedly.  Toki gripped the sheets and gasped as soon as he began pushing in with every ounce of patience and restraint he could muster.

Toki was still way too tight for this. Skwisgaar stopped moving after the tip of his cock was completely in to allow Toki some time to adjust.

‘You ams doingks greats,’ he murmured while tucking a sweaty strand of hair behind Toki’s ear, ‘you feels fantasktic arounds my dick.’

The ragged pants wracking Toki’s small frame were reply enough.

‘We probablies stops now, ja? Tries again next times.’ He moved to pull out, but Toki shook his head.

‘Keeps goins.’

‘Ams you shores?’

‘Ja, just fucks me.’

He shouldn’t have trusted his judgement, but he did, rolling his hips gently until Toki was half out of his mind with the intensity of Skwisgaar’s cock fucking him open.

Somewhere in the house a door slammed, and multiple sets of boots stomped inside.

Skwisgaar covered Toki’s mouth with his hand to mute his shouts, slowly losing control over his measured thrusts with the blinding pleasure that radiated out from his cock. Toki’s tight muscles gripped him like a vice, which was probably not good, but he was too far past the point of no return to be considerate.

Muffling his own ecstatic cries against Toki’s neck, he bucked through a mind-blowing orgasm, positively flooding Toki with his come. 

Toki’s body remained rigid underneath him as Skwisgaar sagged bonelessly on top of him, and he shifting uncomfortably under the weight.

‘Cans we gets clean up now?’ Toki asked flatly.

‘Shores, Tokis.’ He mumbled sleepily into the shoulder-length hair. ‘Gives me a minutes, ja?’

‘Please.’ He implored quietly.

Skwisgaar knew he’d screwed up big time when he saw Toki’s jaw clench as he pulled out and he noticed the faint smears of blood on his cock.

‘Toki, why didn’ts you tells me it horts? Shit, I’ms so sorries.’

‘Don’ts be. I tolds you to do it.’ He didn’t meet Skwisgaar’s eyes. ‘I’ms takins a shower.’

 

By the time they had both cleaned up Toki was thankfully still in Skwisgaar’s room. Not that he had anywhere else to go since he slept on the couch in the living room, but Skwisgaar was glad for it nonetheless.  

He felt guilty as hell for destroying Toki’s happy mood with his selfishness. He was such an asshole.

‘Listens, min lilla Tokis,’ he said, pulling him onto his lap and kissing him apologetically, ‘we don’ts ever has to does dat agains.’

‘Just gots to does it mores so I gets used to it.’ It didn’t sound like he was looking forward to that, and he had every right to after this awful first experience.

‘No, dat amen’ts de way to think abouts it. We only does things whats you enjoys, alrights?’ He placed another kiss on Toki’s temple.

‘So whats? I gets to fuck you?’ Toki said, smirking slyly.

‘Fucks no.’ He laughed.

Skwisgaar was very particular about whom he bottomed for, and his type certainly did not include skinny teenagers.

‘If you wants to top, finds someones else. Dere ams plenty of porsons out dere whats likes differentsk things.’

‘No, thanks, I likes it with you.’ He burrowed a little deeper into Skwisgaar’s arms, which alleviated his guilt a bit.

‘Ams we goods, den?’

‘Ja.’ Toki yawned.

Skwisgaar went to clear the rest of Dethklok out of the living room so Toki could crash, but when he returned the kid was already fast asleep in his bed. With a wry smile he covered him with his blanket and left to stretch out on the couch with his guitar.

_Just this once_ , he told himself.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

‘Dis aktuallies looks pretties hots on you, Tokis.’ Skwisgaar muttered under his breath as he applied Toki’s corpse paint.

Their first album had been a massive success, more than any of the members of Dethklok had dared to hope. On the heels of that success there had been a demand for a North American tour, and Crystal Mountain Records had supplied them with new gear, a tour bus and roadies so that all they had to do was play and do promotions.

They had had to scramble to put together a worthy show, but now that they’d played it a couple of times they could safely say they had pulled it off. Nathan had come up with great plans for lighting and Pickles knew from experience what the best option for the set list was. Settling on corpse paint as a signature look had been one of Skwisgaar’s better ideas; it made them recognisable and pretty brutal-looking.

Toki had not yet gotten the hang of applying it neatly; so far Skwisgaar had been doing the honours for him. Neither of them minded that arrangement.  Skwisgaar was a perfectionist anyway and it gave Toki an excuse to touch in public.

Skwisgaar had propped him up on a table with jar of white foundation and a box of black eye-shadow at hand. Toki dangled his legs while he underwent the grooming.

‘Sorries, what?’ He wasn’t sure what he expected from Skwisgaar, but it sure as hell wasn’t a compliment about his appearance. Skwisgaar made everyone else seem plain at best, and in Toki’s case…

If it wasn’t for Skwisgaar’s eclectic tastes, Toki wouldn’t know how he could stand to fuck him in the first place. He could have his pick of anyone. They had undeniable chemistry, however – maybe that was it. Perhaps Skwisgaar overlooked his homeless teenager appearance in favour of his other qualities. That was actually a nice thought.

‘No, seriously, you looks goods. Hair ams gettingks nice and longs, too.’ Skwisgaar ran the ends of Toki’s hair through his fingers. It was slowly but surely creeping down his chest. He intended to let it grow as long as Skwisgaar’s.

Toki looked at him incredulously. Skwisgaar glanced over at their bandmates lounging around and bent down to murmur in his ear.

‘Does you wants to fucks after de shows?’

Toki huffed a shy laugh. ‘Always.’

‘Makes shores you ams prepareds. Dere ams lube in my bag.’

With the promise of sex later every touch from Skwisgaar set his skin on fire. His skilful fingers brushing Toki’s hair back to sponge the white foundation into his hairline had him practically purring. When he tilted Toki’s chin up, calloused fingertips gently pressing into his jaw, Toki had to shift awkwardly to shield his boner from view.

Skwisgaar grinned, smug with the effect he had on him. Chucking the sponge aside he rearranged Toki’s hair.

‘Dere you goes. Dat ams metal rights dere.’ Skwisgaar said at normal volume.

‘Yeah, looking good, Toki.’ Nathan said from behind his book. ‘We’re going to put on a brutal show tonight, guys.’

Toki hopped off the table in search of Skwisgaar’s bag. He had fifteen minutes until show time.

 

 

During the show Skwisgaar made tormenting and distracting Toki into a sport; it began by walking over to shred together as usual, playing the harmonic solos in complete synchronisation. Toki always enjoyed those bits of the show best; Skwisgaar would stand close and brush up against him with his arm, pull faces or smile down at him.

Skwisgaar kept pushing what Toki could take with a straight face, putting an arm around him when it was just Toki laying down the rhythm, whipping his hair into Toki’s face. On one hand he wanted to give Skwisgaar a good shove, but on the other hand he had never had more fun during a performance.

When Toki played the simple chords to one of Nathan’s verses Skwisgaar went as far as reaching over to do the fretting on the neck of Toki’s guitar while Toki picked the strings. He was shrieking with glee, and even though he could not hear Skwisgaar over the music he could feel him shake with laughter at his side. 

He loved the little moments where the world seemed to shrink to just the two of them playing guitar. The girls flashing their tits at Skwisgaar became inconsequential because he was smiling at Toki, and they had a connection beyond casual fucking that no amount of sleeping around could ever erase. Toki rubbed his head against Skwisgaar’s shoulder affectionately while they launched into a heavy breakdown. This was happiness, right here.

 

 

Dropping by the merch stand they had to sign what felt like a thousand tits, asses, cd’s and battle vests, but luckily there were five of them. Most people already owned a copy of the record, but they were running out of t-shirts fast.

Skwisgaar suddenly leaned over to whisper instructions to find him in the men’s room across the venue. ‘Follows me, but not too quicklies.’

‘De bathroom? Does it gets any more gay?’ He hissed back.

‘Guess what, you ams gay.’ Skwisgaar’s smirk curled against the shell of his ear. ‘Well, I gots plans for tonights,’ he announced to the rest of the band, ‘beers to drinks, sluts to fucks. Sees you laters, pals!’

A chorus of ‘Have fun, dude’ and ‘Go get ‘em’ saw him off. Toki continued signing for a decent interval before announcing he had to take a piss and going off in search of the men’s room.

The dim bathroom walls were covered in stickers with band logos, the dark paint was peeling in places and there were a couple of guys occupying the urinals. Loud music filtered in from the venue through the open doors. His heart pounded in his throat as he spotted Skwisgaar’s boots underneath a stall door, which turned out to be open when he tried it.

‘Heres?’ He mouthed with a frown when he squeezed into the cubicle besides Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar raised his eyebrows in expectation, and Toki had to think long and hard about banging in a public bathroom with other dudes ten feet away. Eventually, he warmed up to the idea and opened his pants. Skwisgaar took away his hat and shirt, and gestured for him to take his pants and shoes off completely.

Toki shivered when Skwisgaar pushed him against the cold wall and freed his cock from his pants. It startled him to no end when Skwisgaar grabbed his ass and lifted him. Wrapping his arms and legs around him tightly, Toki hung on for dear life. He supposed that this was the only way to make it work since Skwisgaar’s legs were a mile long, but it was uncomfortable as hell.

Pinned helplessly against the wall he could not contain a gasp as Skwisgaar entered him with a swift thrust. Good thing he had taken Skwisgaar seriously and worked himself open before the show; this would never have been possible otherwise.

Skwisgaar silenced him with a messy kiss that tasted of beer, and started pounding into him in earnest. He was less vocal than usual, which was a good thing in this situation, Toki supposed. Unfortunately, there was no avoiding the thumping against the rickety bathroom walls, and he prayed fervently that people would be too drunk to notice or care because the volume of the music did not drown it out.

The whole endeavour was a bit too risky for him to fully appreciate being fucked, but he could not entirely contain his moans upon impact.

Someone stumbled into the stall next to them and started puking loudly. It cracked both of them up, Toki hiccupping silently and Skwisgaar laughing his throaty chuckle. True to form, he continued fucking Toki through the distraction.

‘Skwisgare, is thet you?’ Fuck. It was Pickles.

‘Uh, ja, Pickle?’ Skwisgaar finally stilled. They looked at each other with wide eyes and barely contained laughter.

‘Classy, dood.’ Pickles sniggered. He flushed and exited the stall, but stopped in front of their door. ‘Oh, have ye seen the kid? I kinda lost ‘im.’

‘He, uh, ams off with some slut, as well.’ Skwisgaar clapped a hand over Toki’s mouth to keep his giggles from escaping and betraying them.

‘What?! He’s like, sixteen – ’

‘Eit’teens,’ Skwisgaar corrected unnecessarily.

‘Feckin’ Scandinavians… Okay have fun!’

When Pickles’ footsteps faded they collapsed in a fit of laughter. Skwisgaar wiped tears from his eyes, and Toki lightly punched him in the arm.

‘Dis was a terrible ideas!’ He chortled, balancing on one leg to pull his pants back on.

‘Just wanted to tries it.’ Skwisgaar grinned. ‘I makes it up to you, huh? Takes you home whats wheres we can does what you likes.’

‘Will you lets me top?’ Probably not, but it was worth a shot.

‘Nej, lilla Toki. Maybe once when you ams strongs enough to lift me.’ Skwisgaar ruffled his hair and handed him his hat.

He could work with that. Come to think of it, he could probably deadlift Skwisgaar, just not long enough to fuck him. He would have to look into a gym membership now they had a little money. He couldn’t wait to turn the tables on Skwisgaar and screw him for a change. He filed the image of pushing that blond head into the pillows while he knelt behind him away for later use.

When he followed Skwisgaar out of the bathroom he snaked his arms around his waist and lifted him a foot off the ground for the hell of it. It wasn’t too much effort. Skwisgaar shot him a surprised and amused expression.

‘Seriouslies, Toki, finds a nice goirl or whatevers to fucks if you wants to top. I amen’ts doingks it.’

‘I can waits.’

Skwisgaar shook his head and smiled.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Toki should really move his packing along, but he was too tired and too nauseous to get up. At the end of the week Dethklok would be flying to Europe to do a big European tour and scout possible locations for their new home. They hadn’t quite decided whether they wanted to move out of the United States, but if their fame kept rising as it did relocating to Europe would be better for their privacy and sanity alike. 

If he didn’t get any help, he probably wouldn’t be going at all, but he couldn’t summon the energy to call out for one of his friends. He had been feeling progressively worse over the last three weeks; aching all over, nausea, no appetite whatsoever, but today had simply been awful. Waking up to a sour stomach had rapidly turned into puking his guts out in the toilet, and now that his stomach was completely empty he could only lie in bed.

His blankets were drenched in sweat, and fever dreams of home in Norway plagued him throughout the day. Long after dusk had fallen over the apartment his door creaked open.

‘Toki, come on out, we’re having pizza. Where have you been all day?’ Nathan stepped into his dark room and approached the bed. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’

‘ _Jeg er syk_. I don’ts feels so goods.’

‘No kidding, you look like hell. This has been going on for way too long. I’m taking you to the hospital.’

Nathan picked him up like he weighed nothing and carried him to the sofa in the living room.

‘Move,’ he told Pickles and Murderface, laying Toki gently on the cushions.

Skwisgaar rose out of his chair. ‘What ams his prob – holy shit! Looks at hims face!’

‘Yeah, I’m taking him to a doctor. Has anyone seen my car keys?’

‘Nath’n, ye got thet interview in an hour…’ Pickles interjected.

‘Shit. Uh, Skwisgaar, you’re with me. I’m dropping you guys off at the ER so I can get to the radio station. He’s mumbling that nordic gobbledegook half the time so you can translate.’

The 15 minute drive to the hospital was a miserable affair. The swerving of the car played merry hell on his already upset gut, but he was glad that he was going to get some care one way or another. He had never been inside a hospital in his life even when he got sick or injured as a kid. In retrospect, that was probably because child services would have taken him away immediately if a medical professional had ever laid eyes on his body.

Nathan drove up to the entrance of the ER and Skwisgaar helped him inside. It took another hour before he was seen by a doctor. Skwisgaar held him up while the doctor took his personal information and medical history.

‘What is the name of his general practitioner and insurance company?’

‘I don’ts thinks he haves one. We cans just pays de bill, it amen’ts a problem.’

‘Alright… Mr Wartooth, can you tell me about your symptoms?

‘I’ms really tireds and nauseous. Gots to puke a lot.’

‘How long have you had these complaints?’

‘Weeks,’ he croaked.

‘Hm. Anything else I should know of? Any chronic conditions? Do you take any drugs?’

He shook his head.

‘Let me just make a quick phone call.’ He picked up the phone. ‘Can I get an internal medicine resident to the ER for a consultation? I’ve got a 20-year old male with suspected liver failure. Thanks.’

The resident showed up after 10 minutes and immediately began a physical examination, probing Toki’s abdomen firmly with his fingers.

‘His liver does feel engorged,’ the resident addressed the ER doctor over Toki’s head. ‘And the jaundice is worrying. I’m going to admit him.’

‘What’s your differential?’

The resident turned to Toki. ‘I need to ask you a couple of personal questions. Do you need some privacy?’ He looked pointedly at Skwisgaar.

‘No, dats alright.’

‘Okay, er, are you sexually active?’

‘Ja.’

‘Have you had any unprotected intercourse in the last six months?’

Toki glanced at Skwisgaar, not sure what he meant. Skwisgaar’s face fell and he bowed his head.

‘Ja, he haves.’ He said almost inaudibly.

The doctors exchanged a look. ‘Hep B?’ The ER doctor suggested.

‘I’ll draw up some blood work.’ The resident nodded. ‘If you could please follow me to the department of Gastroenterology.’ 

 

Skwisgaar stayed with him throughout the night even though Toki told him to go home repeatedly. The blood work was going to come back in the morning, and besides an IV to fight off his dehydration there was little doctor could do for him in the meantime. Toki couldn’t sleep in the strange environment, and neither could Skwisgaar.

‘Skwis,’ he murmured when he saw him nod off and wake with a start for the third time. ‘Go homes, gets some rest. We gots de tour to think about.’

‘You don’ts gets it, do you?’ Skwisgaar whispered with bloodshot eyes. ‘I dids dis to you.’

‘No, I don’ts understand.’ He was too foggy to piece it together.

‘Hepatitis B ams an STD, Tokis.’

‘Oh. Gross.’

 

 

The gastroenterologist brought a flock of residents and interns with her on her morning visit who all glanced expectantly between Toki and their superior.  

‘Good morning Mr Wartooth. Your blood work came back, and you’ve got a bit of a complicated situation going on, I’m afraid. This may come as a bit of a shock to you, so you might want some privacy while we discuss your situation.’

Toki did not send Skwisgaar away.

‘In most cases the Hepatitis B virus clears spontaneously, but you are somewhat immunocompromised. Were you aware you have diabetes type I? No? Well, we’re going to start you on Interferon for the Hepatitis and insulin shots for the Diabetes. You are also going to have to take antibiotics to clear up the Chlamydia infection.’

Toki’s head was reeling by the time the specialist had listed everything that was wrong with him.

‘One of our residents will come and talk to you about your dietary needs, the administering of insulin and the merits of safe sex later this afternoon. If you can retrace all your sexual partners you should probably notify them to get tested.’

'I just gots de one.' He objected quietly.

'Very well,' the gastroenterologist said without judgement, 'any questions you'd like to ask me?'

He shook his head before taking the hand she extended. ‘Thanks you, doctor.’ He mumbled.

Skwisgaar sat pale and unmoving in the chair next to his bed. Toki knew he should probably say something, but they were interrupted by a nurse who came in to hang up an IV-bag with Interferon and attach it to the needle in his arm.

The rest of the morning he managed to doze a little, only waking up again when he smelled coffee. Skwisgaar handed him a cup when he opened his eyes.

‘Dids I brings my phone? Charles needs to knows abouts dis.’

‘Alreadies calleds him. He ams takingks care of de medicskal bills and cancelling dis weekend’s shows in Germanies.’

‘Fuck!’ That came out harsher than he meant, but on top of all the medical crap that was a little too much. ‘Now I screws up our fuckins tour schedule!’

‘Dis amen’ts your fault, Tokis.’ Skwisgaar offered quietly.

‘Yes, it ams. I shoulds haves know better.’ He said bitterly.

 

 

The helicopter flight over southern Germany was a nice distraction from Toki’s new routine of shots, pills and medical check-ups. Especially the daily insulin shots were driving him up the wall, considering it was for the rest of his life. The Hepatitis didn’t bother him anymore, though he still had a couple of weeks of Interferon treatment to go.

They were on the last leg of the European tour – Germany and Poland – and this was the best option for possible locations for Mordhaus 2.0. Skwisgaar had been adamant that he did not want to live in Sweden or Denmark, and Toki didn’t really feel like living in the same country as his parents either. Finland was too confusing for the other guys; they would never get the hang of the language. They did want to live in a first world country, however. Holland wasn’t very metal and France was too southern, so they settled on Germany as their first choice.

Charles had the pilot take them high over the Schwarz Wald region on an overcast Wednesday afternoon. The forest looked suitably gloomy and majestic to build the Drakkar-inspired house that they had designed. Toki looked down with awe, already imagining being at home here.

He noticed Skwisgaar popping pills from a tell-tale orange bottle from the corner of his eye. That was new. He smiled at him, but Skwisgaar lowered his eyes. Things had cooled considerably between them since the STD incident. Skwisgaar had reacted by burying himself in booze and women after every show, avoiding Toki as much as possible. Whether it was out of disgust or guilt, Toki had no idea. Skwisgaar wasn’t one for talking.

Toki felt terrible about the whole thing. Tainted and violated in his trust. A little jilted, too. Was he no longer good enough now that he was a disease ridden skank?

The worst thing was that he missed whatever he used to have with Skwisgaar like a hole in the head. He was still head over heels in love with him no matter what Skwisgaar had put him through. Regardless of the fact that Skwisgaar didn't feel the same, it was good enough for Toki to get at least a piece of him.

His train of thought was interrupted by a shaky landing on a vast plot of open land among the hills and trees. Where the Americans burst out of the chopper like children on a fieldtrip, Skwisgaar was a bit more stoic about their prospective new home. He hung back, and Toki seized the opportunity to corner him.

‘Skwisgaar,’ He kept a respectful distance. ‘I know I makes you unscomfortables, but – I really miss beins pals with you. We don’ts needs to screw or some shit like that. Just –’ He hadn’t counted on his lower lip to tremble when Skwisgaar did not look at him while he spoke. ‘Neverminds.’ He stepped onto the grass, blinking furiously.

 

 

 

'Ahaha, look at Toki.'

'That's adorable, he's making friends.'

Skwisgaar approached a guffawing Nathan and Pickles, a gaggle of groupies trailing in his wake, to see what they were laughing about.

'Ye're getting replaced, Skwisgare.'

'Yeah, what's the deal with you and Toki, anyway? You used to be such good pals.'

Skwisgaar did not deign to reply and instead glanced over to where his bandmates were looking.

Whereas the rest of Dethklok had surrounded themselves with groupies that had been invited backstage, Toki was sharing a bottle of vodka with a tall blond guy in a black dress shirt.

'Who ams dat douchebags?' Skwisgaar asked sharply, appraising the thick golden ponytail and the silver necklace visible above the open top buttons of his shirt.

'Ah, didn't catch his name. Some bass player from a Dutch metal band.'

'Fuckins hates the Dutch.' That guy was gorgeous, and Toki looked positively smitten.

Skwisgaar had no right to lay claim to Toki, especially now that he had given him the cold shoulder since he had gotten out of the hospital at the beginning of the tour, but jealousy happened to be one of his major character defects. He had been too ashamed to continue fucking Toki after landing him with two STD's and didn’t hang out with him anymore for fear of having to talk about that whole train wreck. Not only had he made him physically sick, he'd defiled him - his little, innocent Toki - and he hated himself for it.

Women's hands pawed at his torso, slowly drawing him away from the vexing sight. When he looked back minutes later, Toki and that Dutch dildo-licker had disappeared. He made a conscious effort to unclench his jaw. Now that Toki was out of sight it was easier to let himself be distracted by the lewd promises of his groupies.

The sound of videogames and laughter emanating from Toki’s hotel room simultaneously reassured and annoyed him. They didn’t seem to be banging, as Skwisgaar feared they would be, but Toki having a great time with someone else bugged him regardless. The mouth on his cock and the tits in his face didn’t hold their usual appeal as he tried to empty his thoughts and focus desperately on the sensations.

It wasn’t long before a series of suspicious groans punctuated the videogame music that filtered through the wall. He didn’t recognise the sounds as Toki’s.

A terrible gut-wrenching combination between arousal and horror sparked in his lower body as the Dutch guy started screaming bloody murder and Toki’s soft tenor became audible as well.

The shameful climax washing over him had nothing to do with the women in his bed.

He was in the process of shooing his groupies out when the door next to his opened. The Dutch guy tumbled out, looking a hot mess. His phone was ringing furiously in his pants while he fussed with his belt, shirt tucked under his arm and his perfect goddamn hair cascading around his shoulders.

‘Sjit, dat must bee mij gurlfrend.’ He slurred in that awful accent.

Toki leaned against the doorpost in a hotel bathrobe with an amused grin.

‘I reellee haff to go, but… coll mee if jou ever wannuh hook up agen?’

‘Sures. I hads a greats time, uh…?’

‘Arnout. I put mij numbr in jour fown.’ When he walked away after kissing Toki on the lips, Skwisgaar was seething.

Toki finally looked at him and offered him a careful smile.

‘Wells, looks at you. Hookingks up with sluts…’ The derision was evident in Skwisgaar’s voice.

‘I learneds from de best.’ Toki retorted.

They stood in awkward silence for a beat.

‘Dids he lets you top?’ He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Toki’s face lit up.

‘Don’ts even answers dat.’ He clicked his door shut and went to look through his bag for the quickest way to get high.

He needed to take the edge off his feelings right the fuck now.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so sorry


	4. Chapter 4

Some time apart from that fucking band had done him good, he reflected on the plane back home. The three months he’d taken off to follow advanced guitar master classes was something he had sorely needed after the release of their second album and the subsequent world tour. He had felt himself become increasingly annoyed by the everyday interactions with the other band members, and drinking himself into a stupor every day was no way to live.

The fact that Toki had shown no interest to accompany him to the master classes was perfect, because his strained relationship with the rhythm guitarist was his number one frustration. It was impossible to pinpoint where exactly things had gone wrong between them, and to be honest he wasn’t even sure if wrong was the right word for it. Toki was no longer an extension of Skwisgaar within the band dynamics, but had grown into his own person since they had stopped fucking some two years ago. Skwisgaar missed the carefree intimacy and close friendship they had shared occasionally, and he knew Toki did, too, because he frequently reached out. Toki seemed lonely a lot of the time; his schemes to get close to other people always fell flat. But Skwisgaar wasn’t put on this earth to make Toki happy, so he just had to fend for himself like they all did.

Another reason Skwisgaar was glad Toki hadn’t come along was his obnoxious effortless talent. He never saw Toki practice anymore, yet he managed to keep up with him nonetheless. The last thing Toki needed was the skill to start fucking outdoing Skwisgaar.   

To say he learned a lot of new skills during his time away would be over exaggerating, but he had polished his playing to near enough perfection under the tutelage of objective teachers. The routine of lessons and practice had brought him a sense of tranquillity he hadn’t felt for a long time since he was a blissfully ignorant boy in Sweden. He would just have to try to keep hanging on to that feeling as he re-entered the tumultuous goings-on at Mordhaus.

 

The halls of Mordhaus were dark and quiet when he arrived; he hadn’t paid much attention to potential jetlag flying back home from the States. Passing by the cavernous living room he noticed faint light shining from a crack in the door. Unable to contain his curiosity, he peered through. Toki’s back was turned to him, waist-length hair curtaining his face as he hunched over something. No one else was around, so he wandered inside, stepping quietly.

Toki had taken one of Skwisgaar’s Explorers down from the wall and was playing his riffs over the soft accompaniment of their first cd. When the song had run its course he put it on repeat, this time playing Skwisgaar’s parts. As it turned out, Toki did practice – just not when he thought anyone could see him.

‘You’s up late.’  

Stiffening, Toki stumbled over the riff as soon as he heard Skwisgaar voice and swivelled his head around. There was something noticeably different about the way he looked and held himself, but seeing him again sparked something old and familiar deep inside Skwisgaar’s chest.   

‘How haves you been?’ He asked cautiously. ‘You looks differentsk.’

Toki put the guitar aside slowly and got up to greet him.

‘It’s been boring heres. I’m… glads you ams back.’ He hovered at the edge of Skwisgaar’s personal space and the corner of his mouth twitched up in a wry smile. 

Skwisgaar’s eyes lingered on Toki’s mouth. He regretted never seeing that wide, open-faced grin Toki used to give him anymore. It did, however, make him aware of the change in Toki’s face.

‘What ams dis? Dids you grows a moustache?’ He reached out and gently turned Toki’s face around in his hands.

Toki looked him dead in the eye, managing to loom without the benefit of height, daring Skwisgaar to ridicule him.

‘It ams a goods look.’ He murmured, surprising himself with how meek he sounded.

To be honest, he wasn’t sure if he preferred this grown-up version of Toki. It would probably take him some time to get used to it. 

Toki remained very still while Skwisgaar cupped his face, but he didn’t lower his eyes or blush under his scrutiny like he used to. Skwisgaar’s breathing constricted in his chest as he unintentionally took a step closer.

What the hell did he think he was doing?

‘Your belongings have been brought up to your room, Sire.’ One of the servants announced from the doorway.

Toki’s expression became guarded as he stepped away. Skwisgaar acknowledged the hooded man with a nod.

‘So. Tells to Toki abouts de mastersclasses.’ Toki asked conversationally.

‘Learneds some insterestingks thingks. Nothingks new, but betters ways. Torns out beingks self-taughts amen’ts everythingks. Heres, lets me shows you.’

Skwisgaar patted the couch next to him as he sat down with the Explorer. Leaning in close, Toki watched him demonstrate a different way of approaching alternate picking, soaking up the knowledge.

‘Tries it, Tokis.’ He prompted, holding out the guitar.

‘No, thanks.’ Toki did look flustered now.

‘Why nots?’ He pressed.

‘I can’ts – It’s too – Rathers not – ’

‘Whats?’

‘Gots no goods excuse. My stupids slow stubby fingers can’ts does dat. Don’ts look at me.’ He tried to get up, but Skwisgaar grabbed his wrist.

‘Hej, waits. You don’ts haves to, but I totallies thinks you can does it.’

Skwisgaar knew deep down that the deterioration of Toki’s self-esteem was in large parts his fault. There was nothing left of the carefree joy in his guitar playing from his first years in the band. Skwisgaar didn’t know how to fix it; the derogatory comments were usually out of his mouth before he realised it.

‘Skwisgaar?’

‘Sorries, what?’

‘Neverminds dat. What was you thinkins about?’

‘Things was so much more gooders when we was friends, rights?’

‘Ja. I nevers gots why we stopped beins pals, or –’ Toki looked down at his hands.

Skwisgaar tried out a lot of possible replies in his head, but there was no adequate way to justify why he shut Toki out so irrevocably.

 

 

‘You guys gots a what?’ He asked, surprised, when Nathan announced they were going to hang out in the hot-tub after rehearsal.

‘We got an awesome hot-tub. It’s the best thing ever. I’m going to get changed. See you in five, dildos!’

‘I’ms goins to gets a snack first, does anyone else wants one?’ Toki called with his hand on the door handle.

‘Bring some beers, Toki!’

Nathan was right; the hot-tub was pretty incredible. It was very relaxing to just soak in the warm water with his eyes closed while the other guys chatted around him. An auspicious clinking from the direction of the kitchen signalled Toki balancing five beers on his way to the living room.

Skwisgaar opened one eye and nearly had a minor stroke when he spotted Toki in his swimming shorts. He had been so wrong picturing him as the scrawny seventeen year-old he had been in his sporadic fantasies. 

Toki was unbelievably cut, and his muscles rippled as he bent to supply everyone with their beers. Despite his best efforts not to stare, Skwisgaar felt the heat rising to his face as his cock hardened mercilessly against his thigh.

‘Coulds you does me a favors, Tokis? Hands me my guitars for a minutes.’ There was nothing for it.

Splashing into the water, Toki handed him one of the Explorers as if it were the most normal thing in the world to submerge and expensive electric guitar. He wormed into a spot between Skwisgaar and Nathan and began comparing notes with Nathan on the best workout and food regimes. Nathan was adamant that it didn’t matter what you ate as long as you lifted enough weight, but as they sized each other up Toki’s face took on a silently superior expression that reminded Skwisgaar of himself.

In spite of the rest of Dethklok being in the hot-tub with them, each casual brush from Toki’s wet skin against his own was direct fuel for his inappropriate arousal. The nature of his attraction to Toki was warped beyond recognition in comparison to what it used to be. Whereas before he felt some sort of detached desire to own, possess and control their newest addition, now he felt a confusing, raw magnetism that made him want to crawl onto Toki’s lap and connect with him in any way possible.

Thankfully, Toki distracted him with technical questions about the master classes until his arousal was replaced by his passion for guitar playing and he was fretting with wrinkly fingers. Eventually, the others filed out of the tub with the intention of sending for dinner, leaving them alone in the water.

He couldn’t stop himself; it was second nature.

‘Guess what, Tokis?’ He murmured, leaning in close. ‘You looks reallies goods.’

‘Ams you tryins to get back into my pants?’ Toki asked, calling his bullshit immediately.

‘Poskiblies.’

‘After all dis times? After all dat happeneds?’ Toki narrowed his eyes, and for a minute Skwisgaar was afraid he would get angry.

‘Ja. I don’ts really gots anythingks to says for myself.’

‘So whats? You bats your fuckins eyelashes and expect Toki to bends over for you?’ Toki huffed, his voice indignant.

‘It ams worth a shots.’ He smiled, a little rueful.

‘Fucks you.’ Toki said mildly. ‘You gots to do better.’ He got up, water sloshing off of him.

‘I wills.’

‘God, I really hates you.’

‘I thinks you mispronounskt loves.’

Toki flipped him off without looking back.

 

It took Toki a surprising amount of days to cave to Skwisgaar’s various proposals – both innocent and indecent – before agreeing to watch a movie together on a dreary afternoon. Hesitantly climbing onto Skwisgaar’s bed, Toki kept an awkward distance. He glanced over at Skwisgaar like a goddamned teenager whenever he thought Skwisgaar wasn’t looking, clearly anticipating something.

Skwisgaar tried his damndest to give Toki the space he needed, but fucking hell, it was hard to keep his hands to himself. His heart was hammering in his chest by the time he felt Toki’s eyes on him for the millionth time.

He wondered if Toki would punch him if he tried something. Or pin him down and choke him –

‘I can’ts conskentrates on dis movie.’ He sighed involuntarily.

‘Same heres.’ Obviously.

They sized each other up for a long stretch of time until Skwisgaar couldn’t stand it anymore. He slowly crawled over to Toki, who allowed him to wrap his arms around him at last. Feeling Toki’s rapid breaths on his face made him lightheaded, but he hung on to the shreds of his patience. Gazing deeply into Toki’s eyes was a cheap trick, but it finally pushed him over the edge.

‘Oh god –’ Toki choked out before squeezing his eyes shut and crushing his lips against Skwisgaar, gripping his shoulders to pull him as close as possible.

Kneeling on the middle of the bed they clawed and bit and tore their way out of their clothes. A litany of desperate sounds escaped Toki’s throat as Skwisgaar kissed his way down his torso and abdomen. Toki’s skin felt warm and tasted a little salty under his lips, his nails raked down Skwisgaar’s back sharply. A strong hand slipped into his hair as he bent to take Toki’s cock into his mouth, clenching into a painful fist as he began to move.

He fully intended to undo Toki completely, to claim and mark him as his own once more, and Toki knew it. He let him, and it was like nothing has changed between them but the shape of Toki’s body. 

Steadying himself with one hand on the mattress and one on Toki’s firm ass, he nearly choked. Toki’s hips jerked uncontrollably as Skwisgaar worked his lips and tongue around his cock. If he didn’t intervene now, this was going to devolve into rough face fucking in no time at all.

Releasing Toki’s cock, Skwisgaar pushed him down onto his back. This way, at least, he could exert a bit more control. He wet the fingers of one hand thoroughly before his mouth on him again. Wrapping one hand around the base of his cock to keep him from bucking up, he extracted a little vengeance for earlier by working his fingers inside Toki at a ruthless pace. The uncomfortable groans it elicited were rather satisfying to hear.

He had Toki loose and pliant within minutes, but he felt torn between continuing to suck him off and having him right that second. Toki made the decision for him.

‘Goes on, then, you bastard! Fucks me, it’s whats you wants, isn’t it?’

‘Gets on your knees and shuts up.’

Toki shivered when Skwisgaar smeared cold lube across his hole without warming it up. He gave Toki no warning save for his fingers digging into his hips before slamming his cock home. It was by far the worst fuck he had ever subjected Toki to, but neither of them lasted long.

 

‘Not sure who I hates mores right now – you or myself.’ Toki griped while he pressed a cool washcloth against his ass.

‘Whats you means, Tokis?’ He asked while turning on the shower.

‘I was fuckins over you, alrights.’ Toki stated flatly.

‘You wills nevers be over me.’ The water buffeted his head as he beckoned Toki.

‘All it tooks was one shitty fuck – Oh hell! I’m goins to have to gets tested again, or what?’ His flat tone took on a shrill note of panic.

Skwisgaar pulled a face. ‘Probablies.’

Toki rested his head against Skwisgaar’s chest in defeat, and he wrapped his arms around him in hollow comfort while hot water scalded their skins.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skwisgaar finally gets his comeuppance.

There was something about Toki’s predatory smile in the mirror of the cavernous fitting room that made Skwisgaar weak in the knees. While the rest of Dethklok had struggled to get into their ill-fitting leather outfits, Toki looked like something straight out of Skwisgaar’s darkest fantasies.

Though the clothes enhanced every feature of Toki’s great physique, it was the way he stood a little straighter and radiated dominance in contrast with the rest of them that made Skwisgaar do a double take.

Toki was made to wear skin-tight, metal studded leather. It somehow brought the darkness he buried deep within him to the surface for everyone to see. Skwisgaar had recently discovered how Toki channelled his more violent and sadistic tendencies, and he felt like he was missing out – he needed that part of Toki in his life as much as all of his other facets.

He had been too blind to see it until it hit him in the face like a brick, but Toki had been his type all along. They had been irrevocably attracted to each other from the get-go, but their relationship had always been toxic and damaging. How could he possibly change their ingrained dynamic to begin reflecting what they could be for each other?

 

He held Toki back after Dethklok had congregated in Skwisgaar’s closet for one of their secret binges. Wiping cupcake crumbs on his leather pants he drew a blank when Toki looked at him questioningly.

‘Whats you wants, Skwisgaar?’ The sharp tone of his voice in combination with his austere appearance made Skwisgaar want to fall to his knees in supplication.

‘I… wants you to does to me whats you does to dems other guys.’

‘You can’ts be serious!’ Toki exclaimed in disbelief. ‘You hasn’ts even lets me top once in all de years we’s been fuckins.’

‘Peoples cans change…’ He muttered. ‘I woulds lets you, now. I wants you to.’

Toki stared at him for a moment, thunderstruck, before the unholy glee broke through on his face. It was a little intimidating, to say the least.

‘You wants it, eh?’ Toki drawled, wrapping authority around him like cloak. ‘Shows me. Beg for it.’

Skwisgaar knelt, then, and something clicked in place like a missing puzzle piece.

‘Please, Toki.’ He murmured while undoing Toki’s pants. ‘Don’ts holds out on me. I makes it worth your whiles.’ The thrill of giving up control had him shivering in his boots.

Toki’s cock got rock-hard in his hand before he even brought it to his mouth, but that was the full extent of his reaction. Toki said nothing and kept his breathing under control while Skwisgaar put all of his skill into convincing him to take him up on his offer, working himself into a nervous sweat under Toki’s unyielding gaze.

His pants were terribly tight and uncomfortable, pinching him in all the wrong places while he knelt on the floor, and he wondered anxiously if he had done the right thing. Maybe Toki had no interest in sharing that part of himself with Skwisgaar. Maybe he was just messing with him. That would certainly explain the detached look on his face, or the complete lack of response he was getting.

Suddenly, Toki pulled him back by his hair, forcing him to release his cock with an obscene sound.

‘Opens wide.’ He ordered breathlessly. ‘Sticks out your tongue.’

Toki’s chest heaved slowly, hesitating a little before minutely rubbing the underside of his dick against Skwisgaar’s tongue. Glancing up, all Skwisgaar got for a warning was his eyes glazing over before he began messily ejaculating on Skwisgaar’s tongue.

‘Licks it up.’ Toki growled.

Skwisgaar’s cock throbbed violently in his pants as he lapped up pulse after pulse of Toki’s come, chasing the droplets that escaped with his tongue until it was all gone.

‘Goods.’ Toki laid a hand against his cheek, and Skwisgaar felt pleased at the praise.

‘I expects you in my rooms at ten pm. Don’ts wear dems clothes, they don’ts become you. Actuallies, don’ts wear anythingks. I’ms goins to spanks you for every times you haves been a terrible lay or untils you cries. Then I’ms goins to fucks you.’

He probably deserved that, but it felt like he got in over his head.

‘Ams dat alrights with you?’

Skwisgaar hadn’t expected Toki to explicitly ask for his consent. That thoughtfulness made him feel a lot better. He nodded.

‘Thinks abouts what you wants and don’ts wants to happens and lets me know beforehand. You wills use traffic light colours to tells me if you ams unscomfortables.’

Toki helped him up, and eyed the outline of his erection.

‘One more things. You amen’ts allowed to come until I says so.’

 

The leather of his clothes creaked as he sat down on the edge of his bed, careful not to stab himself with the vicious spikes on his arms. He unbuckled the cumbersome armguards; they would only get in the way. He kept the rest on. Skwisgaar seemed to have a thing for it.

He glanced at his alarm clock. Five minutes to ten. Tonight, he would finally be teaching Skwisgaar a lesson.

 

Toki was seated on the bed like a brutal Roman magistrate ready to pass judgement on him. He looked at Skwisgaar silently until he dropped the bathrobe he had snuck down the hall in. The anticipation was killing him, but he got hard for fifth time that day regardless. It was starting to feel a little painful.  

Patting his lap, Toki beckoned him over. He went with a little trepidation, folding himself over Toki’s legs. Strong arms rearranged him easily, as if he wasn’t 6’4 and 176 lbs. It made him feel a curious combination of safe and anxious. 

When the first blow landed on his ass, he jerked forward in shock. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Toki packed a punch, but he was in no way prepared for it.

‘Colour?’ Toki murmured while he roughly kneaded one of his cheeks.

‘Greens.’ He said after a moment’s hesitation.

‘Minds if I mouths off a bit?’ Toki wrapped a hand in Skwisgaar’s hair.

‘Dat’s alrights.’ He gasped as Toki slowly bent him backwards.

The harsh smacks on his ass got painful quickly, but it was arousing as hell to feel Toki’s possessive hand work him over. His cock rubbed delightfully against the cool leather of his pants.

‘So, you wants me to smack you arounds like my other subs, don’ts you?’ Toki hissed into his ear without letting up the force of his slaps. ‘Let’s me tells you, I’ms not sures you ams cut out for dat.’

Skwisgaar heaved a shuddering breath when Toki’s hand finally moved on from a particularly sore spot.

‘You see, you knows nothingks abouts good sex. You just screws people – screws dem over and ams done with dem.’

Toki’s harsh words turned the palm prints on his ass into a very real punishment, and the realization that he felt like crying hit him like a freight train.

‘Woulds have expected you to learns at least a bit from gettins laid so much, but you don’ts. You’s a fuckins skanky sluts whats ams reallies selfish.’

He only realized he was sobbing when the apology died on his lips.

‘I’m goins to teach you a lessons, so you’s better pays attention. It’s goins to be my ways or de high ways tonights.’

When he finally choked out that he was sorry, it felt cathartic.

Toki hummed in appreciation and held back the blow he was going to deliver in favour of trailing his fingers lightly over Skwisgaar’s abused skin. 

‘How ams you feelins?’

‘Greens.’ He felt uncomfortable and ashamed, but he needed that. Toki’s righteous anger was a glorious thing to behold, and submitting to him was the hottest thing he’d experienced in a long time.

‘Gets on the beds. Hands and knees.’

Expecting a shallow prep and a rough fuck, Toki surprised him by placing soft kisses on his back while he arranged a pillow underneath him. Gentle hands guided him facedown onto the bed, his hips slightly elevated by the pillow.

Toki stripped out of his leather and metal and lay down between Skwisgaar’s legs. His rough chin scraped against the sensitive skin of Skwisgaar’s thighs as he trailed kisses up his legs. Toki’s quiet moans made him want to buck into the mattress until he would come, but he remembered in time that he wasn’t allowed. Fingers dug into the red-hot skin of his cheeks a little sharper than necessary when pulling them apart, but the press of Toki’s hot, wet tongue against his hole more than made up for that.

‘I coulds get off from just doins dis.’ Toki moaned softly. ‘How ams dis for you?’

‘I’ms in dangers of doingks excaktlies dat…’  

‘Tries to holds it off a little longers.’

It had never been easier for him to open up for the intrusion of fingers after Toki was done plying him with his mouth. He wasn’t in much of a position to push back against Toki’s hand, but he got more than he bargained for anyway. The tickle of Toki’s long hair on the back of his legs distracted him temporarily before a slow sweep of Toki’s fingers brushed up against a spot that set his lower body alight with pleasure.

He heard Toki’s groan of satisfaction echo his own. The time he took in making the whole process an outstanding experience for both of them put every encounter they had before to shame. If this was the standard Toki held himself to, Skwisgaar really was a terrible lay. Toki could have said something more constructive than the occasional ‘I hates you’, however.

‘Turns around.’ Toki pushed himself up and out of the way so Skwisgaar could roll over before licking a stripe across his cock. ‘Lets me know whens you ams close. You’s still not alloweds.’

Skwisgaar let out a tortured groan as Toki swept his hair back with a hand and closed his mouth around his dick. If he was ever going to be allowed to come it was going to be excruciating. Every muscle in his body tightened as Toki dragged him closer to the edge.

‘You gots to stop –’ He gasped even though his body screamed for release.

Toki pulled off and lubed himself up with an unfocused look, leaving Skwisgaar desperate and wanting for a minute before entering him slowly.

‘Please,’ he begged Toki for the second time that day, ‘fucks me.’ He wrapped his arms around Toki’s neck to draw him closer.

Moving slowly, Toki angled his hips until he hit that spot again, making him cry out.

‘I wants to see you come.’ Toki demanded, setting an unforgiving pace.

He obeyed, relief and pleasure washing over him as he surrendered to the inexorable build of his orgasm. Toki panted through his wide open mouth as he rode out Skwisgaar’s painfully intense climax, hair swinging with the force of his thrusts. He briefly crushed his mouth against Skwisgaar’s before indicating that he wanted to change positions.

His cock leaked on Toki’s stomach as he straddled him, still half-dazed.

‘Can I come inside you?’ Toki asked, biting his lip until Skwisgaar nodded.

Toki’s face when he came was the sweetest thing, and Skwisgaar bent to kiss him all over until his cries died down.

‘I maybe re-evaluates my life after dis,’ he murmured against Toki’s shoulder where he had slumped on top of him. ‘I thinks I learneds my lessons.’

His hair rippled as Toki laughed softly.

‘I reallies don’ts get why you still wanted to fucks me if I sucked so badlies.’

‘You’s a sorry son of a bitch. If you don’ts knows yet it ams probablies because you can’ts handle de truth.’

‘Tells me, Tokis.’

‘Because I loves you.’ Toki said simply.

There was resignation in his face; he did not ask for anything in return. Skwisgaar didn’t offer anything either.

 

 

**Epilogue**

For weeks now he had been trying to avoid thinking about what he wanted to ask of Toki, because it was preposterous and he had no right, but when Toki was lying in his arms after one particularly desperate, come-splattered and sweat-soaked fuck he got it out nonetheless.

Toki looked up at him sharply and suspiciously.

‘Maybe I hears it wrong, but dids you just say ‘Marry me, Toki’?’

Skwisgaar grimaced at him, embarrassed as hell. He should never have said that out loud.

‘Ams dat supposed to be de quickest ways to gets me out of heres or does you wants to pick a fights or something?’

‘It ams supposed to bes a way to gets you to spends de rest of your lifes with me.’

‘You wants to owns me even more completelies than you already does?’

‘Not so much owners-hips as belongingks together. We ams been fuckingks attached at de hip for whats – fifteens years now?’

‘I remembers you avoidins me like de plagues for at least two of dems.’

‘Ja. Well.’

‘Whatevers happened to ‘marriage ams only goods for tax-breaks and adultery’?’

‘Ja, I does recalls sayingks somethingks like dat. Tax-breaks sounds goods, rights?’

‘I wasn’t talkins abouts de tax-breaks.’

‘I don’ts know, Tokis. I’ms gettingks too old for dat shit.’

‘You’s only thirty-nine.’

‘I’ms serious. Except for you, we all ams olds. I don’ts knows how long we cans keep dis up with de whole band thing, but whats I does knows ams whats I wants afters.’

‘It amen’ts even legal here.’ He objected weakly.

‘It ams in Sweden. And Norway, Holland, Denmark…’

‘You haves actually thoughts abouts dis.’ Wonder started to replace the distrust in his voice.

Skwisgaar kissed the top of his head. ‘Says no if you wants. All I knows ams dat we ams miserables whenever we ams aparts, whether it ams self-imposed or you gets you sorry ass kidsnapped…’

Toki huffed. ‘Dat was only de one time!’

He sought Toki’s lips with his own, trying to convey how much it meant to him. ‘Please, min lilla Toki.’

‘Says it.’

‘Whats?’

‘Why does you really wants dis?’

It felt safer saying it in his native tongue, and he knew Toki would understand.

‘Jag älskar dig.’

Toki’s face split into a wide grin, and for a moment he looked seventeen again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some clarification about the timeline of this story because it's all over the place. Here Skwisgaar is seven years older than Toki, who joined Dethklok at seventeen. I have them somewhere around 26 and 33 at the start of season one and 29/36 during Doomstar. I apologise profusely for the weird epilogue but I felt like torturing Skwisgaar a little more. Many thanks to everyone who reviewed and left kudos, I love you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate any and all feedback, requests and suggestions but you guys know that by now right? ;)


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